Finding the balance of mommy and friend is harder than I thought it was going to be. The thing that is never hard is watching Rowan learn so many new things. It is incredible how enthusiast he is about his new knowledge (ask anyone who knows him he loves sharing his discoveries... and does it in the loudest voice known to mankind). He really has an enthusiasm for life and that is something he will never grow out of! I am actually loving 4 (even with all the struggles that it has brought on) I find it sweet that he DOES still need me- even if I think I am too busy to do what he is asking. He is definitely more independent. His new found confidence is really wonderful to see. He definitely knows what he wants and what he likes. His persistence has yet to fail him. Many wonderful things have come with age 4!
Age 4 has also come with many challenges. Rhyming words for starters. You do not realize how innocent little kids are until they start "making" up words that actually have meanings- most of which are inappropriate for a child to say. Then there is the added pleasure of "I don't like you" into his daily dialogue. Call me immature, but mommies have feelings too! Although those things can be easy to navigate out of the one that I am most threatened by is the fact that he enjoys playing with daddy a lot more than mommy these days. Apparently, my baseball pitching isn't nearly as accurate as Andy's and my basketball defense seems to be too rusty for his liking. Also, it seems, I am not hyper enough when I play tag at the playground. Ha, I guess I am getting older too:/
These are things I thought would surely pass me by- it wouldn't happen to me. I have to remind myself that I am so lucky that my son is so active and that he has such a strong bond with his dad. It melts my heart to see him look at his dad in adoration. More importantly, it is so wonderful to have a husband who is so involved ...and genuinely loves teaching his 4 year old how to properly hold an aluminum bat and swing at the perfect time for maximum results! (Yes, apparently that is something every young kid should know.) Sure I feel threatened by the fact that mommy doesn't know how to do everything anymore. Yes, and partially I am jealous. I wish he wanted me to do everything for him still, but truth be told Andy has much better attributes to instill in our boys than I do. For that I am grateful. I am just finding it hard to let my little clingy side-kick grow up and move on, because from here on out each day he is more independent and more confident. It is wonderful thing to see your child growing up. But by watching him with Andy I have realized it is even more wonderful to start becoming their friend.
